Dating when you are a parent is a little intimidating because the truth that flags up first is who is going to want me after I have had kids. There are a lot of insecurities that come to the surface as well as the confusion of where to even begin. Parenting takes most of a woman’s time away leaving little or not time for any social life. Here is the Online Dating 101 for women with kids in 2020.
After 8 months of being single I struggled to get back into dating even though I knew I was ready to mix and mingle. I had just finished my degree and thought with studying out of the way I would be able to go out and meet people but with kids to look after I was a little over ambitious with my idea of time on my hands. I couldn’t afford a child minder and at times I couldn’t find a girlfriend to come out and mingle with me as you know there is comfort in numbers. Going out on your own kind of raises questions of is she a lone dick hunter or is she down right miserable🤣
The occasional moment that I did go out I felt like a fish out of the water. At some point I convinced myself to create a profile on a dating site. I didn’t want to come across desperate, as this is already the perception out there… but truth is no man was coming to knock on my door either. I will be honest I would post pictures on my dating profile and take them down and put them back up again. It became a mood thing….I was just over thinking the process. I eventually learnt 4 things about creating a prominent online dating profile.
To Tell or Not to Tell About Your Kids?
Your profile is about you, some people attach their kids to their name once they start talking about themselves it’s cute and everything but you may as well add their pictures to your profile if you feel everyone should be informed from the get go about them. My take is this depends on whether the question is raised. We tend to overshare during the initial phase of chatting to someone new, hardly knowing a thing about them. If they ask tell the truth if they don’t, honey remember you are just talking to this potential that you may not like after meeting them or perhaps may never meet. The need to lay it all out feels like the right thing to do but if there has not been any questions raised about kids keep the subject of your precious kids as your business to protect. Do not share your social media as yet because people use it as a point of reference to your life. Change your privacy settings on social media so you can control who sees your personal posts.
How many pictures should I put?
3-5 pictures is great… it is a dating site, it’s about teasing and sparking curiosity. It’s tempting to put pictures that may strike conversation ie places of interest you may have visited but it is more important to show current pictures of yourself not those from 10years ago. Pictures that project a little of your personality in different outfits.. formal, casual, sporty if you are a sporty person full body shorts are essential too. Be sure to have smiling ones you don’t want them to wonder if you have teeth or not. Besides a smile just makes you a whole lot more attractive 💯. No overly filtered pictures.
Do Not Overthink it
If your profile is not getting much attention do not rush to think the worst of yourself… I struggled when I wasn’t getting any connections and it would get to a point where any attention would be good enough. Imagine you are in and out of the house everyday but how many men actually stop to speak to you. The same thing on dating sites they see you but if you are not getting interaction it doesn’t mean there are no people out there that will want you. Keep swiping for those you like if you want.
But personally, I have something against swiping for personal reasons. I am a traditional woman putting myself up on the site is me already positioning myself and if a man wants me he will swipe right for me. I feel like when you swipe right for a man they may come through but they may come with a you sent for me attitude therefore they will be expecting you to work on them as far as conversation goes🤷🏽♀️…
Do not Try too Hard😓
Once you get a conversation going and the vibe is not flowing well enough no matter how hot the guy is do not chase 🏃🏾♀️them, ways a woman can be chasing a man include offering her number without being asked/ or asking for his number, be suggestive to take the conversation from the platform. Initiate the date, please do yourself a favour and just don’t do it…