How to Let go of Someone You Love
You want to learn the art of letting go? Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest arts to master but what makes letting go of someone you love more difficult are the methods that people set and expect those that are going through a trying time to implement.
The cracks that remain on the inside are cracks that people live with for life and being very careful about how to let go of someone you love can make or break your next dealings. When you don’t close a chapter well, you risk bleeding on fresh pages in the next chapters.
I have loved before and I learnt that when a relationship goes south, taking your love back is simply impossible if the love was real. now that we have established that let us look at some strategies on how to let go of someone you love that no one else will tell you to try.
Allow yourself the permission to break
Most people encourage the go no contact method the literal meaning of letting go of someone you love. This method is the hardest and in all honesty, it is the shittest way you can choose to let go of someone you have truly made a part of your life then one day boom, you are no longer speaking. Like why the hell would you want to do something like that to yourself? Even babies are weaned slowly from the mother’s breast?
My method of dealing with the initial moments of letting someone go is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and at the same time express it. Speak to yourself with kindness. avoid thoughts such as why is this always happening to me? avoid bashing the other person just so you feel better about yourself. avoid venting way too much about it to your friends to the point where they stop picking up your calls.
Unless if you have been blocked then there is no way you can make contact to express yourself to someone who has made it clear they don’t wat to hear from you. But think about it may be they are also choosing the harsh road of no contact and we have established that this hurts like hell.
The cut no contact method continues to be shit because at this point people who have loved each other have now made a conscious decision to be shitty to each other. So how do you chose to consciously have a much more bearable break up that a completely heart-wrenching one where the other person is feeling totally worthless because you have somehow managed to make then feel like they never meant anything to you by shutting them out.
A Good Place to Start
Self-soothing, by reminding yourself that you are an amazing person, by telling yourself that you had some amazing times with the person you are trying to let go of. You can stand in front of the mirror and say “we had some pretty good times, and now things are just different, but it’s ok”. I am here now and let’s see what happens. state your intentions to yourself… I intend to feel better about myself everyday. Really become set in your intentions every day and I propose that the intentions be nothing difficult. just being kind and appreciate the little things
Choosing to be kinder and more considerate may be seen and being weak or leaving the door open but hey there is nothing wrong with that as well.
The most difficult part about letting go of someone you love is the roller coaster of emotions that you go through. You can experience all four seasons of emotions in a day and there will be times when you just want to reach out and let them know how terrible you think they were to you but the truth is they already know. So why rub it in or dwell on it. Moving on is about letting go of the hard stuff but not of everything. So you choose how you want to close this chapter. By setting out your intentions from the moment you wake up.
You are free, so free you could choose bondage and holding on to what went wrong is one way of choosing bondage that you will find yourself still talking about way after the relationship is over.
When you start the process of letting go of someone you love you will go through a time of blame, where you completely blame the other person for all the reasons why the relationship didn’t work out. then at some point, there will come a point where you reflect on the good times.
Allow the Process to Unfold
If you would like to move on from someone you love I always believe in giving yourself time to do it. Be kind to the person you were with and to yourself. If you choose to make contact always make it on a positive note, by sending them good vibes. If you are reaching out also reach out without expectations and make sure you are clear that you expect nothing but just felt to say… and say what you want to say
This way you start to feel a sense of peace because you know the other side knows you are not angry anymore you are in a good place and you are wishing them well too. Its called release…
When you fail to release… you are allowing your pride and anger to stop you from an act of kindness toward the person you are letting go of. If this person has hurt you it will be hard to see them in a good light enough to send then positive vibes but put some positive thoughts in your head in the space where they occupy and replace it with words like “I believe they didn’t mean to hurt me and I’m gonna be okay”. Don’t hold on to negative thoughts about someone you love because the two can’t reside in one sentence… that is negativity & someone you love.
The art of letting go of someone you love means releasing the pain by acknowledging it and allowing yourself the permission to share the parts you would like to focus on going forward. give yourself permission also to reach out by writing your thoughts clearly and send them without expectation. If you choose to not send them just write them and keep them, writing is in itself a form of release.
Its never easy to let go of someone you love but you can do it with lesser pain by paying attention to your thoughts and emotions without shutting it all out. We can find support from people that care about us but the truth is they cannot replace or soothe the pain when is attacks.
Friends and loved ones can distract us for a little while but you save yourself deeper pain when you are real and raw with the person you are letting of either reaching out via email or just writing down your thoughts when they come over you.
Eventually, you will begin to feel better and sometimes it’s not really that we want to break up it may just be that we need time apart to appreciate what we have with the other person.
Letting go of someone you love and be able to create a new space for someone else to love you can be a challenge if you are ready for a love
You are worthy of loving, you are worthy of it all.